one hundred percent inspiration: thank heaven for
bjork who has a new single out from her cd "medulla" entitled, "who is it?" check out the striking video for it where she dances, dressed as a bell on black sand! pure enchantment!
i'm busy writing today. looking at the clouds out my window. drinking aquafina and listening to a number of songs including casey stratton's haunting remake of the bonnie raitt classic, "i can't make you love me" and the "gus gus remix" of the innocence mission's "snow" . . .both perfect for the repeat button!
i love october.
paralysis: i'm eating a pear but. i'm driving in a car but. i'm having a conversation but. i'm listening to a song but. i'm writing a letter but.
drift: i look out the window in my office and imagine myself walking outside in the cold drizzle. i'm awake at three in morning and i want to make a reservation for a hotel on the coast of bali. i sort through the mail and realize for the past week there has been little reason to bring anything that's been delivered to my address inside my house. i walk down an aisle at walgreens that's filled with plastic pumpkins and bags of tiny candy bars covered in glow in the dark wrappers, then down another, and it's all christmas trees and bags of tinsel, and i walk out of the store with absolutely nothing.
flicker: a wet leaf from a sycamore tree falls on my windshield on the way back from the dentist and i'm struck by it's amber glow--until my wiper blade carries it off. i purchase a card at a grocery store for a friend and leave it on the counter, and a moment later the bagger comes running after me waving the envelope, smiling and shouting, "don't forget to send this!" i make myself a bowl of chicken soup and sit at the kitchen table, slowing sipping, staring into the hot broth, taking each spooful to my lips, not reading anything, just eating my bowl of soup, just in the moment.
i'm finding it nearly impossible at the moment to catch up with the chilly season at hand. yes, i can see that the trees are blazing all around me. yes, i'm wearing sweaters nearly everyday and upon waking in the morning i rush downstairs to turn up the heat. yes, i'm drinking hot cocoa at night and i'm prone to dreams that hurtle me back to the past. but still. only two weeks ago i was floating on my back in a vegas swimming pool and laying on a beach towel listening to dido sing "sand in my shoes." i was sitting at a roulette table in a salmon colored madras short sleeve shirt. i was fanning myself under gaudy neon signs, looking for the next tiki bar in order to quench my thirst. now, it's all gusts of 45 degree wind through brittle branches and pumpkin gourds set upon neighborhood doorsteps. slow down.
currently reading
matthew fox's book on "creativity: where the divine and the human meet." i'm enjoying his section on creativity and courage and reading with interest his notes on the necessity of an artist to have a community--to be seen and supported in each endeavor. sometimes i can see the city where i'm living out my dreams, not here but somewhere else. but then, i'm always asking myself, how to bring together all "my good ones" as mary always says. everyone seems flung in so many different directions. what if there were unity? what would that look like, feel like? where would that be?
