yesterday i stood up in my curriculum meeting and told everyone i'm taking my summer quarter off. in a matter of fact tone i quietly stated, "i'm scheduling in my dark night of the soul . .it's long overdue." someone in the room gasped, another tittered. "i need to wind my own clock," i said. then the meeting resumed, business as usual.
we have to create our own signficant life markers, our own rites of passages, invent rituals that will herald our selves through the fire. i intend on entering those wild flames as passionately as possible this summer. claire and i have set some writing and meditation goals with each other and we'll be gently checking on each other to witness each others advancement. four writing projects on my desk right now screaming for attention, so tonight, i'm facing my friendly imac and dedicating some love to my keyboard.
i've been collecting vintage globes for about a year now. i've placed a globe from france on my writing desk now. it's from europe and it glows with a little light inside. it has a european plug so i need to find the right electric converter for it. it's the same globe i used to see in a beautiful shop window when i lived with abra in the marais. we used to pass that gift shop to get to her apartment--we'd always linger at the storefront with its miniature collectables of the comic strip hero tintin, little metal airplanes, nostalgic french postcards, and these charming globes lit from within with all of the world's countries spelled in french. i have set it next to my mac to remind myself that the world is waiting. that i can sit here and spin a replica of it, or i can enter it bravely . .with my body, with my words, with my whole heart intact.
deep breath . .now let's write. . .
twenty reasons to go on breathing today:
1. listening to patti labelle wail on "2 steps from loneliness" from her new cd "timeless journey"
2. curling up with xavier's pet cat, "kitty" who is visiting here for a month
3. chatting later on yahoo
4. received a book of poems yesterday by paulann peterson from my friend claire, which i'll read later today
5. working on one of my own poems that i started last night
6. finishing a discussion on blanche dubois in my english 210 class this afternoon
7. eating my chickpea salada for lunch today made with calamata olives, sun-dried tomatoes, and toasted pinenuts
8. swapping old disco lyrics with mike s. via email
9. sitting with anthony this morning before he left for work at 6 a.m.
10. getting into a hot jacuzzi and lingering
11. reworking the plotline of a short story i wrote on paris
12. the sound of rain on my skylight, gutters, and sidewalk
13. listening to shailja patel's amazing poetry on
the sala.com
14. downloading old dionne warwick songs from apple's itunes
15. waiting to hear new music from lucas
16. the ability to write and be creative
17. listening to casey stratton on replay in my car on the way to work singing "for reasons unexplained"
18. the ability to think and then change my mind
19. the ability to feel and know gratitude for my life
20. because something good is coming and something good is here right now
the latest missive on gay marriage from writer tom mcculley in a letter to the editor of "the pantagraph" --a daily newspaper in bloomington, illinois:
"Two powerful historical moments were celebrated on Monday, May 17th. One of those moments, the fiftieth anniversary of the Supreme Court's ruling in Brown vs. Board of Education, was justly celebrated by this paper and others across the country. Brown, the landmark decision calling for an end to the insidious policy of separate but equal, effectively ended legalized discrimination in this country due to a person's racial or ethnic background.
The second and equally important historical event that took place on May 17th did not receive the same kind of coverage as Brown, but its impact on American culture will be no less profound. On Monday, in the university town of Cambridge, Massachusetts, a lesbian couple who have been together for over a quarter of a century became the first same-sex couple to be legally wed in the United States of America.
Like the doomsayers who predicted after Brown that American culture would be permanently and irrevocably demeaned by black children and white children sharing the same classrooms, there are those who predict the ultimate moral destruction of our country as a result of the numerous, happy, and finally legal unions that are taking place between gay persons in Massachusetts.
History has proven those past doomsayers wrong, and it will prove those who fight against equality for gays and lesbians wrong as well. I noticed this morning that God had not come down to smite our great nation. No, what I woke up to this morning was the beginning of the end of the tyrannical reign of hate and misinformation disseminated by a few who would act in God's stead. Instead of the world ending today, America has awakened to a few more people who are finally being granted the equal protections they deserve. What I woke up with today was the sincere hope that my family and thousands of families like mine will finally be recognized on the same level as every other healthy, happy, loving family in American. Since the God of my understanding is a just and loving God, it is hard to believe He is not smiling."
he can be reached at: tom57mac@hotmail.com
